Goal Starting point

Goal Starting Point

 

The Beginning

Imagine how your life could be different?  Think about it for a moment, how your life could be different if it is a career change, changes in your own business, or your relationships.  Most everyone have something that the want to change.

You reading this right now is telling me that you want changes in some area of your life, right?  Just as most people, you will have already tried numerous changes before.  Always looking for that easier way, finding that most of the time the changes did not last or only for a short period of time.  You may be asking what was the difference and why?

Change is possible, if you have everything in place.  First, accept yourself as who you are.  People often time will avoid an honest look at their lives and where they are now, because, they are worried and afraid of what they might find. More importantly is how they will feel about themselves. Accept yourself, have an attitude of acceptance will take care of this issue.  Assess your current way of being objective, without judging. Second, be very clear about what it is that you want. Think about where you want to be. Picture that in your mind in bright detail, seeing yourself at that point in time that you want to be. Get rid of any and all doubts and uncertainties.

This book is developed to help you set your goals and be energized to see those goals become a reality.  If you can find someone that you can partner up with. This is very helpful because of the different point of view that might have that can be of great help to you. Talking about your goals, the goals become real and you will be more likely to follow through with obtaining your goals. It will be quite ok if you go about this on your own, just keep yourself focused and pushing to complete your goals.

Now let us get started on your path to achieving the goals you set for yourself.

It is your choice to make

To reach your goal, you need to find out where you are starting from.  Take a look at where you are now, and how you got to this point. Focus on what you want and what you have been doing already that works for you.  In this section you will see:

  • How to take responsibility up till now
  • Use the Cause and Effect tool
  • Develop your own power
  • Power of your unconscious mind to help you
  • Develop your self-awareness and assess where your life is now

Take Responsibility

First you will need to accept where you are in your life now. Acknowledge that you are the only person who can change your life, no one else can!

 Make the Right Choices

You will need to recognize that you can respond to the events as they happen.  You cannot control what happens around you, it is just part of life. What you can control is how you will respond.  This means it is your responsibility to make choices to the best of your ability.  Keep learning from your experiences this will grow the tools you will have ready and make decisions easier to make a right choice.  Influence people to help you and inspire them to want to help you in reaching your goals.

Being responsible for yourself is not the right to blame yourself or others for something that has gone wrong in the past. You made the best choices you could, according to how you seen the world around you then.  Feeling guilty about things in the past, because at that time you were doing the best you could.

Do not think failure

When something does not go the way you wanted and there was a different result than you wanted. The choice is yours on how you will view what happened. You can see it as a negative and that only bad things will come of this.  However, you can chose to see it as an opportunity to learn from it and know what works and what doesn’t. There is no failure, it is a way to see what didn’t work and know not to repeat that next time.

If you think of yourself as a failure, you are only setting up for more failures.  It is a vicious habit that you have developed over time.  One disappointment started off the cycle and maybe another one close afterwards caused you to believe that you are a failure. You can learn to break that cycle and change the way you see yourself.  Take all of the outcomes and learn from them instead of looking at them as a failure or a success.  Learn from each and every situation; treat each failure in a positive learning experience.  You are creating the habits to succeed.

Have you ever wondered about just being along for the ride? No matter what happens that you have no control over what happens, have you felt this way? That your success is because of your past or what other people will let you do?  Maybe you believe that you are in control of your own destiny, that you make your own way in life?  Well for most people we will label ourselves somewhere in between these two.

Cause and Effect

When asked, people will normally put themselves at the Effect category.  They believe that things just happen to them, maybe even caused by others.  If you listen to the way people talk you can pick up on the clues in the way they express and talk:

  • He is mad at me
  • She pissed me off
  • There is a back-up on the highway again

People that think this way are giving all the power to others on how they feel.  Instead of taking charge of the feelings they have, and finding that positive way to see things around them.  When they do this saying how the feel and what they are doing, is beyond them that they have no control over it all.  Are you this way? I would suggest that you think of it and put yourself in the Cause column instead.  Be the cause of what happens and be in control of the effect it has.  Do not be in the effect column and only be reacting to the cause.  You have the power to control what goes on around you.

Cause and Effect

Cause                                                Effect

Ask “How/What?”                         Asks “Why?”

Has a present/future focus                     Has a focus on the past

Learns from problems                  Feels bad about problems

 

Be in the Present not the past

You can decide to place yourself at the Cause column and see the changes that are possible.  You will be more likely to see that any issue can be overcome. You will be able to focus on more of what you want, which is a good thing, YES!!  When issues come up, you will be asking questions like:

  • What is going on here?
  • What can I do to make this better?
  • What is important from this issue to me?
When life calls you, act decisively. Be on top of your game. Remember to be in the present and looking towards the future.

Questions place your attention on the present instead of the past, and towards the future.

 

You have the Power

The power you have is your ability to choose for yourself. When you are strong in your personal power, you will see life is easy. You will feel in charge.

Enjoy Life

You will see that you can control and manage emotions, so you don’t react to issues without regrets later.  You will make choices for yourself and not others. You do things because that is what you have decided to do and not by the coercion of others talking you into it.  You will have a clear mind and be at the ready to rise above any issue that comes your way in life. People will see you and be influenced by you and the way that you act.

You have the power so ACT!

You do not have to feel uncomfortable with your personal power; there is a sense of power over others, or bossing them and telling them what to do. This is a misconception of what power means.  This personal power is your inner strength and ability to achieve your goals. Once you have started building up experiences of achieving your goals, you will see your confidence build and be more confident in yourself and around others.  Once you have that inner power it is your duty to use it wisely.

Relax and stay Calm

When you find those unavoidable stressful situations, here are some things to try no matter the time or where you are at.

  • Locate a spot out in front of you.  Look at the spot without causing your eyes to burn or hurt. Blink when you want to, it is okay.
  • Allow your focus point to widen out more and more allowing your peripheral vision to come into focus. Become aware about what is around you in your field of view.  When you can see out both sides of your eyes on both sides at once.
  • Now allow your hearing and what is around you front and behind you.
  • Relax, knowing everything around you is there and what is going on around you.
  • Stay there as long as you want, relax feeling the calmness overtake you in peace.

Notice what you felt.  What was it that you felt? Most people will feel that increasing relaxation, their breathing slowed down.  Even that little voice that talks in our heads has become quieter now. You can use this anytime that you feel nervous or anxious no matter what situation you find yourself in.  Once you have done this and your eyes need a rest.  Warm your hands together and place them over your eyes and lightly rub your eyes for a short time.

If you have ever studied the Martial Arts you will already understand this technique.

Another area that you will need to practice is paying attention to all that is around you.  See what is ahead of you and around you as you walk during your day.  Focus on your center and you will become aware of your surroundings.  Many if not all of the Martial Arts courses teach this awareness as a personal safety factor.  You can use it for that as well as being focused on your task ahead.

If you would like to find ways and techniques to find your center and how it will benefit you, I suggest you look into a martial arts class.  You can even look into YouTube videos to find centering techniques that might fit you best.

 

Learn to clear your mind

When you find yourself with too many things going on at once or asking yourself, where do I start?  You should consider clearing your mind; otherwise you could end up constantly fighting with yourself.

Become effective with your time.

How many times have you heard someone at the office or work someplace that they just can’t relax?  This is because they are feeling the pain of something that they do not want to confront and are running from it.  They keep busy because they want to create a distance from whatever it might be that they are running from.  Being busy does not solve the issue it just prolongs it.  Take for just a second and think of all the time that is wasted by doing this.  Time is one thing that we cannot get back.  Once it is gone past us it is gone forever. So whatever that the person is keeping busy to avoid is still there and not going away.  It is just sitting there waiting patiently on them to decide to face the issue or just let it sit there waiting on them.

Why would you want to keep putting it off, wasting time and energy avoiding the issue?  Just take a stand and face the issue you know that you will have to at some point and time.  You might as well do it now and make the best of it.

 

To be continued….

 

 

 

 

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